Today would have been the poet Andrea Gibson’s 50th birthday. Her partner, writer Megan Falley, shared a beautiful love letter on her substack that would make the least sensitive among us weep. For me, who yearned for a marriage like theirs, of the soul, it was a touching reminder that love like that is possible. I am so happy they found each other and shared it, for while, at least.

I am no longer looking outside of myself for that kind of connection. And I’m perfectly fine with that.

This evening, flipping through my old lyrics, I came across the first song I ever wrote. Three months before the first Dar retreat, four years before our separation, and five before the divorce. I guess I knew then, perhaps I always did–what we didn’t have–and how badly I needed to break free.

The drive to Michigan
took two long days.
We shared our souls
in many ways.

We talked and laughed and
we sang
but my heart cried out with that old
familiar pang

I just don’t love you
as I should:
Babe, it’s wonderful, but it’s just no
damned good.

The further I get from you
the clearer I come into view

The train slogs along
the mighty track.
Sometimes I think that I ain’t never
coming back.

Hear that whistle
in the night.
Don’t know what makes you
think you’ve got the right.
To love who you think I am,
But I’m hiding in plain sight.

The further I get from you
the clearer I come into view

I knew I’d love you,
when first I saw your face,
Didn’t know then, I’d be
exhausted from this race.

If they’d have chosen for me,
would this have been the choice?
A picture-perfect life,
left me without a voice?

A lifetime waits for us
on the other side.
Don’t go feeling bad…
Cause I know how hard we tried.

The further I get from you, (3x)
the clearer I come into view

Maura Greenman
May 2013