Be a homemaker he said. I’ll buy a big house in the suburbs. I’ll work so you won’t have to. You can take care of the babies.

Create a book group, crochet, knit. It’ll be so nice. Create a space for your children and yourself. Surround yourself with nubby blankets and scented candles. Invite your friends for Christmas.

Don’t worry about ascent. No need for 401k, I’ll take care of the bills. You go to Marshalls find things that delight you. Put them on the shelves. 

30 years from now when you decide that you are more than a trinket, and your kids are grown, and your walls are beautifully painted, you’ll look around and you’ll see: the home that you’ve created was just a dream.

That space, that contained everything you loved, was never your own. Your name. Your own beautiful name, is not on even on the mortgage.

But sure as ink is black, it will be. It will be.

If 82-year-old Paul Anka can sing Imagine live from times square a few minutes before midnight, then I can imagine getting up every morning this year and fathoming doing things for myself that make me feel grateful, purposeful, and contented. Remember the times of our lives. This is it the only rodeo that we can confirm, so why not face it courageously and with good humor? Seems like a good enough plan to me. My goals for this year: 1) Accept myself 2) Love myself 3) Forgive myself 4) challenge myself 5) make space for myself. Each of these can be explained in practical terms: Smile at myself in the mirror. Floss. Show grace. Don’t call myself stupid or judge my past behaviors with my current knowledge and understanding. Take on new roles and responsibilities. Learn a new skill. (Adobe cloud I’m looking at you.) Make my home comfortable and clean. Allow time for creativity. I think if I can imagine doing all of these 2024 we’ll have proven to be a good year, well-spent. Happy New Year!