The man who has everything gives away nothing. The man who has nothing gives away everything.

I spent 29 years of my life dating and married to a smart man, an excellent provider, who could not even bring himself to tell me goodnight.

For four years now I have been with a man who barely escaped high school, but who chooses to warm both our plates in the oven until we both can sit down to eat, toasting glasses and sharing conversation.

The difference is astounding. 

Tomorrow I face the first man, my ex, in court, again. The 6th return to face off on what was his bogus and yet, successful, bid for child support and my hopefully, tied up soon, challenge for reimbursements and equity. I am not certain Justice will prevail, but I know I must fight, for myself; for my daughters.

A few days ago as I walked in the woods behind my house, I recounted all the things I hate about my ex. I made a mental list so that I wouldn’t forget. 1) the smell of his head and shoulders hair 2) the way he clicks his tongue in conversation 3) the way he chews m&m candies while watching a movie, loudly, with his front teeth 4) his never clearing his own dish, much less anyone else’s 5) his desperate need to account for every dollar spent at my weekly visits to Target. I could go on.

He has yet to share his tax return with me, an obligation for mediation, so I am nervous about what stunt he will try to pull in court tomorrow, what verbal tango he’ll perform in an attempt to manuever his way around the truth. 

He has everything. And he gives away nothing.