Hi Lynn,
It’s Maura. 

I hope you are well and that things continue to grow and prosper at the Center for Relationships. It seems like a million years ago, and yet like it was only yesterday that we were there, going to workshops, individual and group. You taught us so much back then. I wish I could say we’d learned enough:

I’m sorry to let you know that Jace and I separated a year ago, and have been in mediation since February. Our divorce papers were filed in Loudoun County yesterday. What a journey. I am incredibly sad that we couldn’t make it work, but I do feel hopeful about our futures apart. It was beyond time, and beyond necessary. 

I have a lovely apartment in Reston. I love the trees and the walking paths. I have a new old-lady-rescue-dog named Roxie. And, I have a new job as “Community Ambassador” for the Mission BBQ store that opened recently in Sterling. The job is the perfect mix of food and schmooze. I also earned a massage license four years ago, and continue to see a very small number of clients out of my home.

The kids are wonderful. Lucy will be 18 next week and is off to William and Mary in the fall. She wants to re-write all the healthcare policies for women and babies in this country. Annie Rose is 14 and will be a freshman at Potomac Falls HS. She’s arty and is super into musical theatre. Infact, she’s “Taylor” tomorrow night in a summer production of High School Musical.

I’d love to tell you that Jace and I really tried hard. I suppose we thought we had. But the truth is, as perfect as we are for one another on paper, in real-life, we just were oil and water. He’s a good person. I’m a good person, but we couldn’t find common ground anywhere. Our relationship was fraught with tension, resentment and a decided lack of intimacy. In the past few years, I strayed, just to get some desperately needed physical affection. I’m not proud of that, but it was the only way I could reconcile staying together, which we were stubbornly determined to do. 

However, last summer, we decided to “press pause” and take a 90-day separation. We were under the care of the “Center for Relational Recovery,” which I naively thought meant, “Relational Reconnecting,” but in our case, the relationship [we both] needed to recover was the one with ourselves. I’d become esteem-less, depressed and fully believing that I was not worthy of being loved the way that I was, that I was broken. I’ve learned now that that isn’t true. I am worthy of love and I was created the way that I am, and there is nothing “less than” about me. It’s been an unbelievable year. 

I wanted to share this with you, as you’ve been such an important part of our history. There’s a part of me that wishes we’d given up long ago, but then again, I wouldn’t trade my girls for anything in the world. 
So, here I am, starting over at nearly 52. It’s worrisome, but I’m not scared. Not every day will be easy, but as the song goes, “Every little thing is going to be alright.” Sending you so much appreciation for the work that you did with us, and the role-modeling you provided for me that there IS life after marriage.

All the best, Maura