When she was 3, my eldest daughter “caught” me vacuuming, not something she often saw me do

Her comment confirmed my infrequent cleaning as she said, “Mama, you look like the cleaning lady.” I confess, I was embarrassed. But, it was true. We had a once-every-three-weeks lady who came to the house and cleaned. 

One of the last times I saw her, I was quickly remaking my massage table in my upstairs studio, hiding the fact that I’d slept there. She asked.if I was ok. I said I was, yes, but that my marriage might be over.

Today, as I do every Wednesday morning, I dropped off my daughter’s overnight bag to her father’s house. I rang the doorbell and the cleaning lady opened the door. She was surprised to see me, as I haven’t lived there for two years. The expression on her face said, “Please don’t come in.” I was not welcome in my home. But the cleaning lady was. 

Here’s a tip: if you’re a stay at home mom, clean your own house, so your toddler doesn’t mistake you for the cleaning lady. And, if you’re married to a man who doesn’t “get” you, with whom you feel broken, insufficient, not worthy, don’t end your marriage by getting attention from another…Don’t try this at home.