When I was a senior in high school, my two best friends were in charge of writing the “Senior Will and Prophecy” aka “Where We’d Each Be in 5 Years.” Mine read, “Five years from graduation, M will be hosting her own daily talk show called, “Meet My Friends” in which she’d engage and entertain with her lively banter and babble.” I have always been simultaneously flattered and insulted by this prophecy: were they acknowledging my friendliness and bubbly demeanor? Or where they mocking me for having nothing of substance to say? Either way, it doesn’t matter, really. What’s important to me is that my two friends saw me, knew me, and loved me for who I really am–a combination of warmth and silliness.

That was a long time ago. Since then we’ve all been through so much–the passing of parents, the dysfunction of siblings, and in my case, the end of a marriage. But those two friends of mine, and gratefully, several others, have stuck around. This weekend, they came over to my “bachellorette pad” and had a good old fashioned sleepover. Here we were decades beyond our high school years, still able to tease each other a bit, listen a lot, reflect, and support one another. Oh, and laugh. We definitely laughed.

It’s January, time to take out a brand new calendar and make plans. And to put the year that has passed behind me. The year that I am affectionately calling my “Year of Pain.” But that doesn’t mean it’s all been bad. I’ve been spreading my wings, feeling them unfurl, uncertain how to catch the wind. But I am learning. And I am open to trying a new skill–pulling myself through the air, rather than circling and circling around, caught in the same current.

It’s kind of terrifying. But it turns out that I can do it. And I am not alone.  

“I’ll bet you will be laughing
With your friends
In the light of a better day
Laughing away…”

[“Something to Get Through” Used without permission by Dar Williams, though I don’t think she’ll necessarily mind.]